This is the red road.

15 May

I am frightened to my core that this is the beginning. Like a journal, I am blank pages that stretch for the rest of my life, the ones that come before unintelligible, unreadable, dark.

I was born in a river town in the middle of this nation that made and continues to make me. My parents were school teachers and while I sometimes feel that I just survived my childhood, I know there was love and plenty where there was also, also, also. Things could have turned out differently, but we can all say that. Tell me we can all say that.

My first memories are of helping to name my sister, who was coming, coming closer, coming home. I have no past that doesn’t include her. We grew up simply, and then. And then. And then.

***

I have lived so long with illness that it has become my whole story. I know myself only by my scars. I cry when I realize this, and that this brokenness, this body is my identity.

I am on the other side, but where do I go from here?

After this second time – so broken, so bloody, such a slim chance that we’d see today, today, and today – my husband told me that we’re just going to do whatever. we. want. That we’d say yes to everything.

He is my secret keeper, my brave new world, my autumn afternoon, and my red hot flower. He is the strongest. He moves the day.

When asked, all I can say is that we’re a good fit. And then I hope it to be so.

***

I am the howl. I am not sorry.

***

He who has known.
who has seen me when I was nothing.
who has been with me when I had nothing.
who has led me beside still waters.
who has called from below my balcony.
who has shone the light in the forest.
who has carried me to the stone and back again.
who has known, has known, has known.

***

I went to Utah and it changed my life.
I was seen for who I was and it changed my life.
I was sick and I was sick and I was well and it changed my life.
I forgot how to talk to strangers and remembered again and it changed my life.
I talked to a new mother and it changed my life.
I came home.

It changed my life.

It’s time to start living with the changes, to begin that life I promised myself.

***

I taste these words with a soldier’s mouth and drive on.

***

(Words written after visiting here. I don’t know what direction I’m heading with this blog, but I think today changes things. So here we go.)

Project 1/7 – Angel from Montgomery

15 Apr

Okay, originally on my list, it said, “Learn ‘Wish You Were Here’”. But really, a four chord song is a four cord song, you know? So my new goal: Learn “Angel from Montgomery” on the guitar.

DSC_0186

Don’t know the song? Shame on you. Go here to listen to the songwriter perform it with a little explanation, or here for a fan-freakin-tastic version by Old Crow Medicine Show.

The chords for this song are pretty easy, and it should be easy for you to sing along as you learn to play because the words aren’t complicated either. Beautiful, but not complicated.

You need three chords for the verse (G, C, D) and an additional chord (F) for the chorus. (There are other versions of Angel, but I like this one.)

Here’s a handy chart that’s helping me through:

Now, in my three days of expertise, I can share these things with you:

1) Going back and forth between the G and C will get easier. I promise. Just work at it.

2) Speaking of working at it, don’t get frustrated if your fingertips aren’t up to the same amount of practice that you are. Fifteen or twenty minutes a day for three days took me from not knowing the guitar at all to knowing how to play this song. The chord changes are still crummy, but I know what comes next.

3) Look at your chord hand, not your strumming hand. (Duh.) I don’t know why I can’t figure this one out, but seriously. Your strumming hand can strum on its. Chances are your chord hand needs your eyeballs for help, at least for awhile.

4) If “Angel from Montgomery” isn’t tripping your trigger, here’s a list of good songs with which to begin. I do recommend learning a few chords, then a song that uses them, and then to add chords as you find new songs you want to play. It makes learning a little more fun.

So go. Do something you never though you would accomplish today!

(Top photo includes a smidgen of artwork by the fabulous Jon Carling.)

Natural Woman.

10 Apr

DSC_0145

One of the most common recommendations for new bloggers is to set up some recurring features so that you have something you KNOW you can do.

So I’m going to try it out. I’m going to feature something new I’m doing, started after the noon moon… which is today! (Imagine that. It’s like I planned it.) I was going to run out and get supplies today, but then the above happened. (If you can’t tell, that’s a bunch of ice covering every crevice of everything. Yay, Wisconsin.)

So today you get a picture of a frozen birch tree (almost typed “bitch tree”, but really, she’s quite friendly), and tomorrow the fun begins!

Featured Folk: The Lone Bellow (review)

11 Jan

Welcome to a new semi-series (we’ll see how it goes), Featured Folk. Music reviews and such, some new, some not. (I’ll spend the next few weeks catching up on 2012 releases. Then we’ll see.)

ff the bellow_edited-1

We’ll get into my loose definition of “folk” some other time. Today, we review The Lone Bellow‘s self-titled album that drops on the 22nd of this month (the 15th on iTunes). As a Kickstarter, this piece of perfection dropped into my inbox today. Way to get the weekend off right, guys.

A tiny bit of history might help this along – Zach Williams (frontman for the group) loves New York’s legendary Rockwood Music Hall so much that he decided to turn it into a recording studio. That in itself makes this album worth a listen. (And this video worth a watch.) If you already knew this tidbit, the opening track, “Green Eyes and a Heart of Gold” (and other gems like “You Don’t Love Me Like You Used To”), sound just like you’d expect. Like a Friday night of Americana in your favorite spot. Bar’s in the back.

What may surprise you, however, is the clear-as-a-bell-tunes that follow. “Tree to Grow” is one that you will immediately hit repeat on. The harmonies are out of control (and you know how I feel about that).

Also unexpected – for me anyway – is the epic tune that is “Bleeding Out”. I did not expect this full, rowdy-ish corale that anchors the second half of this album. A side-two keeper, for sure.

And finally, you can’t get better than the heartbreakingly yearning of the pair of penultimate songs, “Looking for You” and “Teach Me to Know”. Maybe I’m biased to the latter because I watched the video linked above an embarrassing number of times to hold me over until the album release. Maybe. But this pair begins with a lullaby and ends with the freaking catchiest hook I’ve heard in a long time.

So, at times both gentle and raucous, The Lone Bellow’s self-titled release leaves us most with a feeling of longing, apropos for a band made out of New Yorkers with their roots in the fertile soil of the South. We turn the album off with a feeling akin to taking a short trip home, long hours and roads that will now lead us further and further away.

Radio Free Liana

10 Jan

Thinking about closing myself off for awhile. I’m trying to get right with myself in a number of ways – writerly, spiritually, creatively… there’s a lot of noise around me right now and if I turn some of it down, I think I’ll be more productive.

But expect to see me a lot more around here, actually. I’ll need an outlet, especially since I got my new big girl camera. (!!!)

Stay tuned.

← Older Entries

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.